The 'Accidental Facebook Like'

    A month ago, I got a new phone.  In figuring out nuances of the phone, I have managed to ‘like’ pictures I intended only to scroll through, ‘favorite’ tweets I meant to ‘collapse’, send three text messages when I only wanted to send one, and commit other delightful social media faux-pas at the most opportune times. 

    For my reason or another, I’ll take a gamble that you too have been in the “accidentally-liking/friending/commenting-and-hurrying-to-undo” boat.  We want to ‘undo’ it because a) we actually don’t like the item or b) we don’t want the person to know we were looking.  Either way, it’s awkward to ‘undo’ because What if they already saw it? or What if they think I’m rude?

So what’s behind the freak-out moment of the ‘accidental like’? 

“If we have no peace, it is because we've forgotten that we belong to each other.”  Mother Teresa

    There’s a freak-out moment with the ‘accidental like’ because it reminds me that even if I’m behind a screen, I am not anonymous and neither are you.  We are real, and belong to one another.  But shoot, that shouldn't be such a surprise.  I think we deserve more.  

    The antidote is tough to find, but I know what it's not.  It’s not “go on a mission to humanize the internet by commenting/liking/reacting to everything I see”; that’s annoying and means nothing.  And it’s not “get off of social media because it’s not real life”; social media is real, and can be good.  St. Augustine said ‘abstinence is easier than perfect moderation’; in this case, he means it is easier for me to cut out all social media, but better to learn to use it well and manage my time.  

I need to remember it’s YOU on the other side and act accordingly.  

The following are so insightful.  I loved reading them, and if you've made it this far, then you might too. 

1.  Instagram's Envy Effect

2.  XKCD's comic 'The Pace of Modern Life'

3.  Pope Benedict XVI on The Year of Faith, which runs from 2012-2013 (excerpt below)

 “Among the most striking experiences of the last decades is finding doors closed.  The bolted door of my house, the place of my intimate life, my dreams, hopes, sufferings and moments of happiness, is locked against others. And it is not simply a matter of the physical house; it is also the whole area of my life, of my heart. All the time there are fewer who can cross that threshold. The security of reinforced doors protects the insecurity of a life which is becoming more fragile and less open to the riches of the life and the love of others.

The image of an open door has always been a symbol of light, friendship, happiness, liberty, and trust.  How we need to recover them."  

This Weather is Out of Control

“How’s the weather?” 

Even in the dog days of summer (named such because of a star -Sirius in the canis major constellation - that appears during the summertime in the northern latitudes), the topic is an icebreaker.  People record the weather, try to predict it, and write songs about the wind, blue skies, cold days, autumn, storms, rain, and sun.

taken on mah birthday.  no digital enhancement, just beauty...and a good thunderstorm later.

awesome.  unless you took this from the window of a plane.   

     Tornadoes have been lurking around these parts.  Even this afternoon, I hear feel the wind pommeling the 3^rd story like it’s not even here.  A little part of me wants to locate the specs on my windows to be sure they can stand the gusts.  But barring a break-in by the west wind, I’ll keep writing. 

the smoky mountains of tennessee.  

     Yes-sirree, the weather is easy to talk about.  It happens to all of us.  Bad, good, or somewhere in between, the weather can beautify, destruct, taunt, and control.  Whatever it can do to us, we can do nothing to it.  Come what may, the only possible thing we can do is let it roll through, beautiful or otherwise.  [Well actually there’s this thing called cloud seeding.  We may be onto something, but so far it hasn't made a huge dent.] 

my evening view.

     I used to* dress for how I wanted it to be outside.  You betcha.  My college degree has paid off.  Yours truly still thinks this works…kidding…kind of.  Bottom line, as frustrating as it can be, I/you/we can’t really change the weather. 

     Secretly, I think this is why people are continually fascinated by it.  It’s all at once terrifying and relieving to have things out of your control.  It puts us all in the same boat.  The weather plays no favorites and has no predetermined enemies.  It reminds us that we belong to one another.  I think it has something to do with this:

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.”  - Matthew 5:44-45

And thank God for that!   


*as recently as march…2012…little miss smarty pants right here.  

The Power of a Group

I teach chemistry (yes, I love it), and we do lots of labs. 

Behold: the Bunsen Burner.
We play with fire all day...or so they wish. 

     Thing is, during a lab, sometimes students need a hint.  I've tried to give directions by speaking loudly to the entire class, but that’s nothing special.  You see, after some time, my voice blends in with the hum of the AC, and students just aren't too concerned.   

    So one day I started talking with just two students.  I began describing some tip or technique for the lab.  All of a sudden, other students nearby started to listen in.  I saw them stop, glance over trying to be sneaky, a little envious that ‘we’ were moving on.  They tried not to make it seem like they wanted an extra bit of help.  It was pretty cute, to be honest. 

    Cute, yes, but bottom line also a very effective technique.  They were awfully concerned.  They saw a group of us, and they wanted to be part of it.  

     Lest you think their motivation was just to ‘get it right’ and ‘grab the grade’, I’ve also seen this happen before class when we’re shooting the breeze.  If a couple of us are laughing or having a good conversation, I see heads turn, eyes light up, and an ache to be included...and brilliance when they are called out by name to join in the fun.

So my new technique?  Talk with just one group...it's motivation for others to listen in.  

Friends from Peru.
They make you want to join in the fun.

     Truth is, the need to be included is super basic.  It’s deep within and it's here to stay.  I've heard that the best way parents can love a child is by loving each other; children would much rather be caught up in the love of their parents than doted upon to an odd degree. 

     *Ding* this is old news (or timeless news?).  The Trinity.  It's three in one.  Not 1-in-1 (boring).  Not 2-in-1 (a friendship…good, but it's just two-ply).  It's 3-in-1.  To be invited into a dynamic friendship, a love that has been around and inviting before you came to be, yes that’s so much more real.  It's relieving, and wonderful to be along for the ride.  It makes you want to stop what you’re doing and listen in.   

[ Have you heard of the power of the first follower?  Click here for the dance. ]