You know those people who just have ‘it’? Everyone wants to be around them. They are magnanimous: joyful, confident, and
generous. They are happy to be themselves. I want to be like that. But the pursuit is frustrating and fascinating; ‘it’ seems always attainable but just out of reach.
I've tried to acquire ‘it’ by imitation (because joy,
confidence, and generosity are great qualities). I've tried to acquire ‘it’ by pursuing
originality (because I know that I am created uniquely to be me). But I am left restless, still wanting whatever ‘it’
is.
 |
| Finding 'it' is part elusive, part frantic. Yes, just like this. |
'It' is not just being funny, or kind, or a good listener, or generous, or happy, though these are good and imitable. Pope John Paul II said that we are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures. I think we are also not the sum of our gifts and successes. We are the sum of our Father's love for us.
No, what these people have, this ‘it’, is the deep peace resulting from the struggle and beauty
of allowing the light of Christ to shine in their darkness, healing and
revealing their true selves. These
people have had an encounter with one who knows them and wants them in all their
fullness. They have the better part
which will not be taken from them.
Allowing Christ’s light to shine into darkness is
uncomfortable and unnerving because what will be revealed is not yet known. But equally – actually more - uncomfortable and unnerving is darkness; the restless strive to ‘create myself’ through an endless game of imitation and originality. So let there be light.
Once I am convinced that darkness is scarier than light, it
begins. We walk through my soul. As I watch Jesus teach me about each thing we
see along the way, it becomes easier and easier to trust Him. He brings clarity, peace, and simplicity to
what was confused, unknown, and tainted.
My idea of finding 'it' through imitation and originality fades in the light of the glory
of His new creation. And I am not alone
in aching for light to shine.
At the beginning I said there were
Personalities in God. I will go further
now. There are no real personalities
anywhere else. Until you have given up
yourself to Him you will not have a real self.
Sameness is to be found most among the most ‘natural’ men, not among
those who surrender to Christ. How
monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how
gloriously different are the saints. - C.S. Lewis
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not
overcome it.
John 1:5
4 comments:
You just spoke to me heart.
I think maybe those people who have 'it' don't always realize it. I've always known you had 'it' and hoped some of 'it' would rub off on me too :)
Ashley, my reaction: a laugh and smile. Thank you. And though it seems trite, I admire 'it' in you as well :)
I've always thought it would be a boring world if we were all the same! With that said, there's much of "it" in you, that I SO admire!!! :)
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